A Big Bother

Young peoples television these days reminds me of my last colonoscopy - its very painful to watch and makes me think of dung! And it is only getting worse with the return of Big Brother. The folks at channel 0 - or 10 as these young lads and lasses call it these days should have taken a leaf out of their own book and simply said 'Big Brother... I don't think so!'. Yes I have always thought Big Brother was violence against my eyes, so as I sat down to watch the opening night last week with my hot coco and can of Fancy Feast (it wasn't pension week) I was very surprised to see that for once a very attractive young lady was let into the house. A young angelic beauty by the name of Terri. Disappointingly for me, she was ejected from the house the very next day!

Opening night of Big Brother was like watching a doctor check 84 year old Nevil next-doors prostate, very awkward and uncomfortable, but you just want to watch to see the expression on his face. Why Big Brother said its time-to-go to the drag queen that they have had hosting since the beginning I do not know... but even worse is to replace her with some fatty who looks like his Nana has been feeding him too many cream cakes, and his ditsy blond, barbie-doll girlfriend who doesn't look like she would be the brightest crayon in the box.

On the up side, Big Brother on Sunday night did give me something to do on Monday, as I was able to spend 3 hours on my telephone complaining to some lovely young girl at the television studio about the amount of inappropriate content and skirt lengths featured on the night.

What ever happened to the days of watching Graham Kennedy and Chatterbox?

Well better go, I have a game of bingo to attend in the community hall in 10 minutes.

- Arthur Whinehurter